We’ve all heard it before: in relationships, “communication is key.” When you talk openly to loved ones, it puts you all on the same page.

This sounds simple in theory, but there are so many families that don’t follow this principle.

Family secrets can destroy relationships.

Here are some examples of what family secrets look like:

  • Secret infidelities
  • Physical, emotional, verbal, sexual abuse and neglect by other family members
  • Keeping mental health struggles secret
  • Hiding marital issues from kids
  • And on and on…

Adults keep secrets all the time.

It can be easy to forget how traumatizing it is to be left in the dark as a kid.

We want to think our secrets don’t affect them, but kids suffer when they’re being constantly lied to. 

What can you do if you were the victim of such secrets, and it’s harming your life to this day? There are many ways you can begin to heal. 

I invite you to reach out to someone who’ll support you.

This can be a friend or a certified counselor. When you talk through your feelings, you’ll realize that this is a natural response to what you experienced. It wasn’t your fault, and you deserve to heal — however gradually — from those wounds. 

In what ways have you found family secrets to be harmful?

By Matt Burton