Think back to when you were a kid, and what your relationship with your parents was like.
The sad reality is, a lot of us don’t grow up with both our parents present.
Guys I’ve talked to who experienced this sometimes brush it off. They minimize the pain their younger selves felt about that loss.
But having a missing parent can have a huge effect on your life, as both a child and an adult. Often, this results in feelings of abandonment. There’s that hole in your young self’s life, like a house with a wall missing.
Different people respond differently to that hole they know was there.
Feelings of abandonment can color every aspect of your life. Maybe you feel inadequate or guilty. You might find that you’re scared of people leaving you, even now.
One way to heal is to invest in loving, healthy relationships.
That pattern of abandonment was set for you early on, but it doesn’t have to continue.
There are people who will stick by your side and help you through hardships, rather than bailing when things get tough.
Grieving that loss and moving on to better relationships can help you heal. One possible resource is Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families.
What are possible residual effects of abandonment that you recognize in your adult life?
By Matt Burton